Stuck Between A Hard Place and AI, Dear Diary, Is This The Beginning of My End?

 Happy Almost fucking THANKSGIVING THO.

I come to this space to lay my brain down in the waste.  It's a free write.  No edits.  I rarely go back and re-read what I write here before POSTING.  Why? Because it's the mind in the raw.  I read this story about one of scribes of the Bible and they would just sit and write and write like a constant stream of water pouring out from a faucet.  There would be no breaks for breathes, or to look around and wonder, it was just pen to scroll.  I think when we free write and tap into the author energy within us, we find mirroring in those days of scribing.  The Bible is really just open thoughts from God that someone jotted down.

A jot.  That's me writing and thinking in Edu-speak.  My career path as an educator has driven me towards a middle school in Brownsville, Brooklyn.  My real ass home.  I started going to school 400 yards from where I teach children.  Weird is an understatement.  The thing I am struggling to grasp is my emotions to the day to day life of an educator in the charter system and in today's system.  I am stuck between critically thinking and artificial intelligence.  I can easily just go back to be being a substitute teacher where I felt my work under the SPED programs was seen more as an asset.  No one really has the patience to deal with a population of students who are reading 3 grade levels behind where the standards say they should be.  I get into a lot of hot water trouble daily because of my philosophy.  How can we keep partnering with communities as educators and not be seen respectfully? It is counterintuitive to say the least.  The mindset that parents can assist in their own child's education is not new but the way it is dependent on parental approval is setting up our country to fail further in education, we're already like number 25 in the World.  The latest election just sealed what a lot of us as activists, already know, the majority of the country is special ed therefore not able to make the best decisions for themselves or their families.  Ergo, Donald 2.0.  Like seriously.  Jews Will Not Replace Us and the Insurrection aside, this is the person the majority of Americans, chose to be their commander in chief.  He has already threatened tariffs against our neighbors in Mexico and Canada.  The grocery store prices are not based upon the Democrats, it is based upon the supply chain owners.  My primary concern is Linda McMahon, a child human trafficker, who is now supposedly heading up the Department of Education.  The federal department tasked with oversight of programs, budgets, and legislation that affects the teaching at the state levels.  Already since the last election results some states like Tennessee have added the Bible back into classrooms as a mandate.  Additionally, the rates of attacks against Black students and educators have risen with MAGA students creating disruptions targeting specific demographics.  (Google school in Beverly Hills Maga to see more)

My passion had been in the arts and after school programming.  I am running a non profit whose primary goal is to bridge that gap between critical thinking skills, mentorship, and mental health in the at risk Black youth community.  Ergo, Brownsville.  I got out because of my grades, point blank period.  Being academically inclined came naturally to me.  I am that nerd that loves to learn.  I love to read.  I clearly love to write.  God is a writer and so am I.  It is a powerful testimony.  I think therefore I am.  My mind has always been my friend.  As a child artist, I admired my own ideas.  I would sit in my room Saturday afternoons creating stories about friends who met at lakes with magical unicorns.  Way before J.K. thought about Potter, Tahyira dreamed of so many characters.  It's the dream that never really goes away deep down in my soul.  My grandmother asked me to walk away from my classroom career because she understand things have changed in the United States from the days her and my grandfather left Trinidad and Tobago to move here.  They legit came for work.  There were campaigns down in the island to get workers amnesty through work programs. Amnesty is an immigrants pathway to citizenship.  Two weeks ago I was watching MSNBC cover a story about Trump voters in Nevada.  A Latino family originally from El Salvador who had a son around age 27 spoke to the cameras about how they came illegal through our boarders but got amnesty under Ronald Reagan in the 1980s.  Reagan was the POTUS at the time of my birth.  I was born on January 25th 1987.  My grandparents had already been here legally for about 20 years.  I thought about my grandmother's reaction to Kamala's lost and how she is responsible for her entire family being "American" including yours truly.  Did we miss something the Nevada family found? How is it that those who came illegally feel empowered in their privilege to vote against their own kind? 

First generational Americans are having the hardest time finding their footing.  On one hand, you did everything asked of you.  I got ELA and Mathematics scores on school testing which helped the community stand up in the numbers.  My family worked and shopped locally, supporting businesses and landlords who are small business owners.  My parents both worked full time so that I could have whatever I needed which looked like dance classes, costumes, Jordans, Jansports, and really nice hairdos.  It all cost money.  In the 1990s, we call it the Golden Era of my family.  It was all UP.  We also visited each other and traveled a lot more up and down the east coast.  Can I just live in the past? Nope.  The reality is that my 38th birthday will be here pretty shortly.  And again, I feel DEPRESSED.  Not like suicide but just like blah.  We get tired of the reset.  We get uncomfortable being uncomfortable and having to consistently fight for what you KNOW is right as per humanity.  The reality is that being woke means you can see the writing on the wall years before the WALL IS EVEN DISPLAYED.  Pun on the wall super intentional.

My issue isn't even that people voted stupidly because I teach so trust me I see a lot of sadness in education already as per my work contract.  My issue is the New Yorker who grifted so many of you into thinking you can now be privileged.  My issue is the 27 year old son of the Nevada family who said explicitly that he is IMPRESSED by how much HATE Trump gets but still stands up against it.  People who know me know me through these spaces have already watched my Narcissism video on my youtube.  I called out parents, peers, and my President at the time.  My issue is the mental health factors and the lack of mutual kindness that led folks to make a choice against their own friends and family.  How could you think crossing a boarder illegally back then makes you less of a criminal now to be in a position to judge those coming across now? It's how Hitler got the Germans to turn a blind eye to the most grotesque time in human history.  It is happening right in my homeland.  My husband is Dominican.  For years as he followed me down my activist life attending different rallies and protests, he would be clear about the difference among Hispanics.  "These spanish ppl wanna be white boys, Im telling you thats why they dont march." I remember one time at a Women's March event in L.A. I stopped to ask a handful of Mexican-Americans about how the Black Lives Matter movement made them feel.  They said it doesn't bother them but the immigration stuff and the Wall has changed their views on protesting.  They said they learn from us.  Sidebar, when you're Black you totally hold down the entire race when you ask questions about race lol.  I always found it comical when I would be the only Black person in the room and they're trying to discuss something racially, they always look towards us for this silent approval.  If you have never been the only Black person in a room I suggest you find new rooms as soon as possible. 

As a researcher for my brand, TREMG, I'm big on checking public records like Census and crime stats.  I have been noticing that uptick in White-Hispanic voting demographics.  When we explained it on X, those tweets were usually sent to the bots.  It's as if they found an AI way to keep the real news away from the real people.  I documented it all on X as well as how I've been documenting my shadowban on Instagram.  It was not white America who voted in the new POTUS and that is a narrative we all need to swallow.  When the tariffs land on Mexico, it's American grocers who will suffer as well as their consumers.  Taking a look back to when we were in the pandemic and supply chain issues were all over the news, how do you think it will play out when the people creating the issue are pretending that they have no idea what the issue is? Remember how depressing the country was when news would break about folks all dying at one family event because they happen to be anti-vaxxers or anti-maskers.  It is funny now I guess.  Maybe the Germans thought the first round of dead Jews were funny too.  They lost their way of fighting once Hitler became their Dictator, there are no more elections under fascism.  That was the last American election that we will know before a war.  The fight in the Gaza is based upon these same events.  The United Nations formed after WW2.  The film Oppenheimer plays in as well.  The bombs we dropped on Japan are all documented along with the internment camps that housed Japanese-Americans.  Did we think there are no more bombs? 

The depression I feel is based upon my knowledge.  The knowledge is always going to be power.  We need to sit in it to meditate on why our mission has hit a lag.  I feel free because I have plans like launching my first campaign under For Us Nation called, #DOWEMATTER.  I launched it in the summer after attending a protest for Sonya Massey's death on camera by a police officer.  I uploaded a video to my Youtube yesterday and today there's already someone explaining to me how the cops are not wrong.  Like you should go see it they wrote like 10 different points under my video which is less than 2 minutes long.  If I continue to trigger random people on the internet by stating my points of view then I must be onto something smart.  I chose not to run.  Not to runaway.  Not to be a pussy.  Not to give in.  And not to be violent.  It is so easy to match the energy of your oppressor.  My favorite chapter of the Bible is Job.  Patience in our faith.  Finding and walking in true faith so you know God really got you has always been my savior.  We live to lose another American election but our minds remain vigilant and in tact.  This is just another chapter in the history named: BLACK. 

Catch ya on the flip side suckers! 

Until your eyes meet my words again, do take care of YOU..... 

Love Tee.