Our Body Speaks, Are We Listening?
Today is Monday, July 30th. I am sitting in Starbucks on Franklin Ave and Highland Blvd. It is hot outside. It's about a little past lunch and just about the time my am latte is kicking up... it's time to eat. So naturally, I'm up here, writing, blogging, thinking, freeing.....
Full disclaimer: my tummy is hurting lol. I just sent my husband some cash and I put "U got cash" in a text and he replied, Nah. I thought that was a sign that I needed to vent out to the World. Why are we always feeling like a big ole NAH? When someone is uplifting us and we don't feel it, we get this attitude. It's a real issue in today's world. We are unhappy. I take myself out of myself and many times out of this space to see things from different perspectives. Everything changes when we change what we see. I began meditating as a form of a rule more and more each week. It is still hard especially given that my emotions are on a loop currently. Another disclaimer: I am in psychotherapy since April. I have all these fucked up issues in my head and I have a clinical professional helping me sort through a lot of the unnecessary crap that I need to rid myself of. I am accepting acceptance as apart of life. You really have to lock it down and hone it because if you don't, you will constantly be chasing some type of gratitude or some type of recognition. You will not find it. It has to come from you. You know that warm fuzzy place they're always talking about aka your gut, well we need to take more head to those feelings. Our body speaks, we must listen.
Therapy revealed that though I think I got everyone in a place, I never learned to create real boundaries for myself. When you are young and not properly raised emotionally there is a lot of shit that just becomes "who you are" and you yourself aren't really sure who that person is or where exactly they came from. I try my best to live every moment but in reality is that I try to hold onto every GOOD moment. Well what about the TRASH Tahyira, the trash is up there too. The therapy is the garbage disposal. I think as human beings living in America in 2018, therapy should be a rule for all participants. It is not easy being out here. Let's not lie, it is not a happy time to be alive yet we are here. Politically speaking, we are in the Holocaust minus the deaths. Seriously speaking this is the last time America will have an opportunity to shame the rest of the World. We only have two years left and we can already see the forecasted changes coming this November. The night is mainly darkest right before the dawn..... this had to happen in America for the ones who were still asleep to truly be awakened. Now we're all here, whites, blacks, latinos, gays, straights, and in-betweens. All of this gives me the inspiration to keep going. I hope you find a happy place.
We have a lot more to offer ourselves than we think. We learned to say NO very loudly but now those no's are kind of like hold up wait a min... I think Instagram creates an impression (pun intended) that many of us just can't wrap our minds around yet we love it because it is what we know. We also have to be mindful of addictive behaviors and the feelings of instant gratification VERSUS when you take your time. I came from the academic world where nothing can be rushed, it took me 5 years to earn a cap, a gown and some tassels (schedules Graduation shoot, reminds self to phone Brooklyn to have them ship my degrees smh). I was just talking to my partners and my IG story about how we were the first real coders back on Myspace haha. We used to sit there and figure it out because well, we had the time and wasn't racing against a "social media timed post". What if we apply that mentality to our lives right now. We have tech-based minds because we are the computer generation. They can downplay "Millennials" as much as they want and it just speaks more to the system not being accepting to a changing landscape. Millennials put President Obama in office for 8 years because we grew up post- 9/11. But I digress.
I'm about to head out to a family reunion in Trinidad. Pauses for acceptance. A family is something that never really played a significant part in my everyday life but since I met Frankie back in 2010 I started to change slowly. When we got married I knew that family was something I needed to understand. My friends were like my family. I've been hurt by friends. I've been hurt by family. It took me some time to fully accept it all. Being Aquarian, emotions are like a foreign script to us seriously. I suggest if you're less emotional you should speak to a professional. You cannot go through life without understanding compassion and be soft. It is understandable based on your life experiences if you harden, or tough but when you remain calm in any situation, you handle it better. I never stop working on myself. Yesterday I did a vlog and I was thinking of this blog post as well. Am I self-involved or self-aware? I would say self-aware. Back in college, it was def self-involved. I didn't care about any of those bitches I hung around. I only cared about where Tahyira was heading. I headed straight into a wall post-graduation. If I was self-involved I doubt I'd be down to help people push their own envelopes without even checking for my own. Being self-aware is constantly knowing what you want to do at any given moment. It means knowing how you are affecting others by your presence, your speech, and your ideas. I don't just float through life unless that was my intention. Mediation is floating.
I feel really hopeful today more than I've felt in a long time. I hope by reading this you feel hopeful too.
TIl NEXT TIME FRIENDS, STAY WELL!
XO
TAHYIRA
Full disclaimer: my tummy is hurting lol. I just sent my husband some cash and I put "U got cash" in a text and he replied, Nah. I thought that was a sign that I needed to vent out to the World. Why are we always feeling like a big ole NAH? When someone is uplifting us and we don't feel it, we get this attitude. It's a real issue in today's world. We are unhappy. I take myself out of myself and many times out of this space to see things from different perspectives. Everything changes when we change what we see. I began meditating as a form of a rule more and more each week. It is still hard especially given that my emotions are on a loop currently. Another disclaimer: I am in psychotherapy since April. I have all these fucked up issues in my head and I have a clinical professional helping me sort through a lot of the unnecessary crap that I need to rid myself of. I am accepting acceptance as apart of life. You really have to lock it down and hone it because if you don't, you will constantly be chasing some type of gratitude or some type of recognition. You will not find it. It has to come from you. You know that warm fuzzy place they're always talking about aka your gut, well we need to take more head to those feelings. Our body speaks, we must listen.
Therapy revealed that though I think I got everyone in a place, I never learned to create real boundaries for myself. When you are young and not properly raised emotionally there is a lot of shit that just becomes "who you are" and you yourself aren't really sure who that person is or where exactly they came from. I try my best to live every moment but in reality is that I try to hold onto every GOOD moment. Well what about the TRASH Tahyira, the trash is up there too. The therapy is the garbage disposal. I think as human beings living in America in 2018, therapy should be a rule for all participants. It is not easy being out here. Let's not lie, it is not a happy time to be alive yet we are here. Politically speaking, we are in the Holocaust minus the deaths. Seriously speaking this is the last time America will have an opportunity to shame the rest of the World. We only have two years left and we can already see the forecasted changes coming this November. The night is mainly darkest right before the dawn..... this had to happen in America for the ones who were still asleep to truly be awakened. Now we're all here, whites, blacks, latinos, gays, straights, and in-betweens. All of this gives me the inspiration to keep going. I hope you find a happy place.
We have a lot more to offer ourselves than we think. We learned to say NO very loudly but now those no's are kind of like hold up wait a min... I think Instagram creates an impression (pun intended) that many of us just can't wrap our minds around yet we love it because it is what we know. We also have to be mindful of addictive behaviors and the feelings of instant gratification VERSUS when you take your time. I came from the academic world where nothing can be rushed, it took me 5 years to earn a cap, a gown and some tassels (schedules Graduation shoot, reminds self to phone Brooklyn to have them ship my degrees smh). I was just talking to my partners and my IG story about how we were the first real coders back on Myspace haha. We used to sit there and figure it out because well, we had the time and wasn't racing against a "social media timed post". What if we apply that mentality to our lives right now. We have tech-based minds because we are the computer generation. They can downplay "Millennials" as much as they want and it just speaks more to the system not being accepting to a changing landscape. Millennials put President Obama in office for 8 years because we grew up post- 9/11. But I digress.
I'm about to head out to a family reunion in Trinidad. Pauses for acceptance. A family is something that never really played a significant part in my everyday life but since I met Frankie back in 2010 I started to change slowly. When we got married I knew that family was something I needed to understand. My friends were like my family. I've been hurt by friends. I've been hurt by family. It took me some time to fully accept it all. Being Aquarian, emotions are like a foreign script to us seriously. I suggest if you're less emotional you should speak to a professional. You cannot go through life without understanding compassion and be soft. It is understandable based on your life experiences if you harden, or tough but when you remain calm in any situation, you handle it better. I never stop working on myself. Yesterday I did a vlog and I was thinking of this blog post as well. Am I self-involved or self-aware? I would say self-aware. Back in college, it was def self-involved. I didn't care about any of those bitches I hung around. I only cared about where Tahyira was heading. I headed straight into a wall post-graduation. If I was self-involved I doubt I'd be down to help people push their own envelopes without even checking for my own. Being self-aware is constantly knowing what you want to do at any given moment. It means knowing how you are affecting others by your presence, your speech, and your ideas. I don't just float through life unless that was my intention. Mediation is floating.
I feel really hopeful today more than I've felt in a long time. I hope by reading this you feel hopeful too.
TIl NEXT TIME FRIENDS, STAY WELL!
XO
TAHYIRA
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