Jan 25, 2019 - 32 Years Of Enough

Why? Love.

Five hundred twenty-five thousand six hundred minutes

Five hundred twenty-five thousand moments so dear

Five hundred twenty-five thousand six hundred minutes

How do you measure, measure a year?

In daylights, in sunsets

In midnights, in cups of coffee

In inches, in miles

In laughter, in strife

In five hundred twenty-five thousand six hundred minutes

How do you measure a year in the life

How about love?

How about love?

How about love?

Measure in love

Seasons of love

Seasons of love

Five hundred twenty-five thousand six hundred minutes

Five hundred twenty-five thousand

Journeys to plan

Five hundred twenty-five thousand six hundred minutes

How do you measure the life

Of a woman or a man?

In truths that she learned

Or in times that he cried

In bridges he burned

Or the way that she died

It's time now to sing out

Tho' the story never ends

Let's celebrate

Remember a year in the life of friends

Remember the love

Remember the love

Remember the love

Measure in love

Measure, measure your life in love

Seasons of love

Seasons of love

Yesterday I watched the live performance of the musical Rent On Fox.  I loved this story for a very long time and it was cool to see it reflected on for a new generation.  The track Seasons of Love is and has pretty much always been on my favorites playlist.  It makes me feel happy.  Reading the lyrics is sort of therapeutic for me.  I also free dance to it a lot which is my favorite form of expression.  Last Friday I turned 32.  Boring.  But so good.  Age allows you to look forward whilst still looking back.  Somethings we keep in our rear view mirror are meant to remind us of how many storms we have already weathered.

Removal Of Toxins

I don’t write biology based blogs so don’t tune out because of the sub titles.  I am simply working on a lot more written art pieces and I’d like to be more thought organized moving forward.  How do you socially remove toxic shit from one’s life?  Purge.  Just quickly get rid of it all.  Block.  Delete. Unfollow. Unfriend. Divorce.  Whatever the word, do what you need to do for your personal/overall well-being.  God never asked us to survive under the burdens of unhappiness and strife.  He surely helps those who are attempting to help themselves.  A few weeks ago I removed a parent from my life.  It was her choice and believe me I have the screenshots to prove it.  It’s unfortunate you have to divorce a parent but it’s totally a thing.  As an artistic creative person I used my bad days to inspire better ones.  I figured therapy would help me to cope.  You can’t cope with narcissism.  This just in.  I always wanted to be in a family and I swore on a stack of bibles that one day that would happen.  Growing up without your mother and father in your home yet in your life has to be one of the tumultuous relationships to have to constantly navigate.  Some adult children just get fed up.  So I not only deleted I unscrewed the enablers around it as well.  No one acts alone.  Someone is co-signing.  Make sure you cut the snake off at the head, then bury the tail.  It maybe needs harsh to you so that your messaging is clear.  Weeks before the parental divorce I cut of a handful of wannabe friends from Instagram and Snapchat.  I noticed they noticed.  If you spot a strangler in 2019 and allow them into the next phase of your life then your holding on to them as well.  Grow up already.

Suffering In Silence

Get help.  Why? It’s out there.  Self medicate is self care.  It’s smoking weed.  It’s getting massages.  It’s dancing in a circle in your underwear.  Be free.  Another artist perk is the power of self expression.  Welcome to social media.  Writing this very blog is helpful for me.  Find a positive way to release whatever emotions you’re experiencing.  Why do you continually opt to suffer in complete silence? Fear of being misunderstood.  I walk a thin path of a student/teacher’s mentality.  You cannot know everything and cannot know nothing.  Reaching out to others for insight into your own spectrum is how we avoid aloneness.

Avid Distractions

I need more money.  No you need more distractions because life freaking sucks.  I moved away from passions and moved towards rations.  Money makes me feel independent in our society and independence allows us to feel like we are in total control.  Why do we need to feel in control? Fear of loss of control therefore leading to loss of self.  If you’re fortunate like myself to find a calling then hold onto those daydreams even when its been dark for a year.  I always always reflect on the title of my diary blog, All in a year’s time a lot can change in those twelve months.  Use the distractions to help catapult you into your best years yet.

Generational Curses?

Mmmhmmm.  Not just you not just ya momma and ya poppa but your whole damn team.  A lot has changed since our country has been at the mercy of idiots.  It is the perfect time to become aware.  My white friendships tell me, white privileged is also white guilt in 2019 and many privileged folks are working against their Grandparents just to make sure my kid might have a seat at their table.  One the Black hand side we’re seeing a wave of new Americans stepping up Politically.  A change go come someday.  I reflect on the Clinton Campaign and it’s like there’s no point in getting besides yourself when it just leads to hopelessness.  Our generation is breaking curses left right and center.  We feel the spiritual and emotional undercurrent of it all in Black America. “But they don’t want no Nigger boss tho T.” Oh we know.  And what that mean? Stay the course y’all.  Plowing the way feels impossible because it has been.  You’re very much allowed to change the trajectory of your livelihood.

Why I create? For Goodness sakes.

I truly try to let all the good times roll through my life and the lives I impact.  Growing up in Brooklyn was a blessing.  Starting adulthood in Hollywood is a blessing.  Saying what you want and manifesting your truth is a blessing.  We create from the warm space.  We go through the ugly to come out stronger.  I was supposed to write on Jan 1st.  Then again on Jan 7th.  Whenever the creative bug bites, it leaves a mark.  Remember why you are here and never let go of that good good feeling.  “Babey babey I got the feelin’”

Til next time I feel like putting you on

Xo

T