Dear America, I Still Love You

Yeah, love is love. If I get overly angry at anything in my life, it's because of love. It's my driving force.  Dear America, I am beyond pissed off. But I still love you. Poor girl. I can see that it's the lack of atonement that has our current inhabitants literally fighting for healthy air, but we won't be able to move forward until those that walked before we give permission. White people have yet to face the reality caused by their European forefathers. White privilege is surely dying, but it's not going out easy, it's currently in a coma and we need to provide all necessary life-saving measures. Kinda explains why Trump got more votes this election cycle than the last one. Cue Giuliani. It seems that every step ahead is 25 years and the whole damn civil rights movement, stepping back. But it's not. We lost John Lewis and RBG I would say, simultaneously, in the same year we elected Kamala Harris, the first Black Veep. We won't escape these plagues until Native Americans and Black Americans receive what is owed to them, in a very real way. And America knows it. Hello Covid.

You can take my words lightly, you can take them as a crazy person's rant, or you can see the realities of 2020 from a spiritual space. Anger also leads to me finding new ways to meditate, chill, and just enjoy life. When I can't go high, I go higher. God help us all. But I get it, just like the fires in California. They didn't hit the poor neighborhoods where homeless people live, they hit the filthy stinking rich. Hmmm. Is anyone else paying attention? Sure bad things happen to good people. My life has been filled with karmic energy. You really do get what you put out. So maybe being rich isn't bad, but like Tupac Shakur said, "why do you need a house with 10 rooms when there are people with no rooms, it just doesn't make sense." It doesn't. Greed has won for far too long. Male energy has been dominant for far too long. Poor people keep getting poorer while the rich keep getting richer, brother can you spare a dime or a stimulus check? I spent a lot of my twenties figuring out why I graduated during a Recession, the answer is greed. It's unfair. The system, which exists in our nation, regardless if you're living on Twitter or underneath some rock, the system is heading towards a blue screen error.

After the 1918 pandemic, the financial fall out came years later, the Great Depression. History, dear fellow Americans, is repeating. Because we haven't gone that far away from how we operate, since 1918? Well, yeah. America has always been reactive. America girl, your leaders are reactive because we created power plays and popularity contests in place of being decent human beings. The most eye-opening relationships I got to study this year were how employers treated their employees. LOL. Like are we supposed to really buy that all these corporations who took PPE based on your social security number as per their payroll, actually care about anyone? Yeah no. We play our part too. There's a reason it had been a struggle to get employees back to work, they realized that you weren't shit when they had to apply for unemployment and had time to dream up an idea. Yup. The one percent is so small because duh, we all work for them. The Doctors work for the hospitals, the Nurses work for the medical centers, the school teacher works for the Department of Education, the farmers work for the Department of Agriculture, and so forth.  

They never cared. And in America, when one monkey doesn't care, the rest of the monkeys follow. (The monkeys are the employers) I'm not sure I've ever met anyone who loved their job and their employer at the same time. People run companies. Corporations are not people. That's something I want you to think about. The worst is yet to come, financially speaking. The stock market is not Main street. It's going to be a long Winter, just prepare yourself and adjust your exceptions.

Suicide sucks. I was on Tik Tok and found way too many videos documenting young Black kids talking about suicide. It's something foreign to me even though I suffer from mental health issues. I could never. But I get why they feel that way, I mean, is there a future you can see that's not depressing af? I can't. It's on us as the 30 somethings, to hold the line for the generations coming up quickly behind us. They are lost. They are woke. They aren't scared. But they need hope. Thank God for the Obamas. I said it maybe 10 times within the last 3 months. I think some of us were born for specific reasons. Barack and Michelle hit the scene to campaign for Joe and Kamala, and it was like zap, I'm back in my dorm room at LIU Post and it's 2008. I'm listening to their speeches while I'm working on my final Criminal Justice classes. A change we need. They inspire. They are real-life heroes, they are real-life Black Americans, like me. They help me so much, I wish I could say, thank you. I hope you can get either of their books because it's not a story that can be told, outside of them. They are also living legends. I use their messaging to reach Gen Z and younger Millennials. Keep hope alive. It's all we got. It saddens me, even though I feel bad about my uncertain future at times, I still got to enjoy my youth. They can't. They're going to school on the same device I'm writing this blog, it's nuts. Parents are now the teacher's aides. It's all way too much. I love how they're using social media, to express their truths, and I have found real hope in just that. If your kid is struggling, I would suggest talking to someone that can help you to help them. There are tons of resources on Instagram, Twitter, safe Facebook groups, and Youtube communities. I heard Daveed Diggs say recently, "when we share the burden of life, it becomes livable..." or something along those lines. And it resonates with me.  

We also have one another. Going back to my first paragraph, there are millions of White Americans taking atonement, they are fighting for change in the Criminal Justice system, they elected THE OBAMAS. Is it enough? Change does begin with action. I did some research on Congressional leadership and political power players like Joe Biden and Hillary Clinton, people like Chuck Schumer and Nancy Pelosi, folks like Bernie Sanders and Elizabeth Warren, and you wouldn't believe what they all have in common outside of political party lines, they started from humble regular old everyday means. Joe got involved in politics when he realized Black families were being discriminated against under redlining laws. Hillary got involved after a new age minister came to her Church and took her on a trip to hear Dr. King's I Have A Dream Speech. 

It's all in the research. I've always cared less about what someone says vs what they have done. "We got it wrong." - The Clintons. "I really don't care, do you?" - The Trumps. Actions don't speak louder than words when you are holding the loudest microphone. Is this all on Trump, the Cult 45, the Russian bots, or are we to blame too? How many of us were paying attention to things before it got so out of control? I was. So I can see the timeline of events, more clearly than the distracted. Have you been distracted? I feel like being an American is already a privilege. We may have it bad, well it looks a lot worst because of who we're supposed to be, you know, World-leading and all, but we're no different than what's been happening in third world, war-ridden, poverty-stricken nations where there's no clean water. Wait, you could be reading this from Flint Michigan. Yeah, we're not leading anything but a sideshow. A global sideshow that has caused America to look foolish. America, honey child, we going to be here when it's bad so we can bask in the good.

I still love the fact that more Americans survived the pandemic than those that didn't. I still love the fact we have freedoms, like to write whatever you want, free mindedness is a privilege. That's why we protest. I love that we protest. I still love that America is the best place to live. I love being Black with an attitude that stems from a white collegiate experience. I still...love... HOLLYWOOD. I love New York City. I appreciate the voters in Georgia and Michigan. I can see the change, the good stuff John Lewis and RBG fought for, it's on the horizon.  

Dear America, I Still Love You

Signed, your daughter Tahyira from Brooklyn.

END SCENE. goodbye 2020.

Happy Holidays to everyone, Rest In Peace to all souls lost, a prayer to those fighting the good fight WORLDWIDE every day. I'll see you in 2021.  Bigger, better, healthier days are coming.  I love you.

I documented my mental health, here's the podcast link: ‎Live Hangouts: Tahyira Keeps It Too Reel on Apple Podcasts