But There's A Side To You

I've just realized when I turn to post on this blog....its when I feel the most broken.  Some days you try to make sense of every nonsense and you get a feeling that it is all toppling over on you.  Reading and moreso writing is my greatest escape.  Life as we know must go on but the past exist for a reason.  For reflection.  You look at the person you were; you look at the person you wish you were in the past; and you reflect on where you are on the day of reflection.  I've made a lot of sacrifices for love for career for family.  The thing about sacrifices are that once you make them and you now have to adjust and live with them.  The questions of was it worth it? Did I gain what I thought I would? still come up in my head.  I've spoken to people and many of them never question; I can say I'm like that 75 percent of the time.  I think these people never question because they're afraid; afraid to feel what I'm feeling now like maybe you made a mistake.

I'm not a runner and I'm not a sweeper.  I don't dwell in heavy emotional states but when I do feel something I deal with it, I try to understand it, and I try to put it all into perspective.  I think it takes courage to stand in the mirror and cry.  Maybe its easier for me because it happens almost never versus someone else who probably cries regularly.  Sometimes a good stare into your own eyes is really needed.  Stare with me people.